Alarm clock screaming.  Dark yummy goodness brewing in the kitchen.  Jump in the shower.  Put on a confident outfit.  Wake up the kids.  Get them dressed, fed, teeth brushed, hair combed, deodorant on and breakfast as you all walk out the door.  The drive to school was as busy as every morning. Sun shining bright through the windshield.  Circle around and drop off the kids to enjoy a day of expanding their brain muscles.  Speed off to that job that is getting your daily bills paid and kid's extra curricular taken care of.  Then repeat.

Ever feel like you're on a hamster wheel of routine and there's no exit?  Like the days are EXTRA LONG and the years are short?  Do the attitudes of those precious blessings running around your house ever get too much?  Bad news - it won't last forever.  Yeah you read that correctly.  It's bad news.  The annoying rushed morning routine.  The hamster wheel with no exit.  The extra long days full of those little people running around with attitudes and opinions.  Yep, it won't last forever and that is bad news. 

Let me explain.

Recently my Papa and Nana celebrated 50 years of marriage.  Yes I said 50!!!  Wow!  Such an amazing accomplishment these days.  Ya know?   Extremely rare.  I had the beautiful honor of officiating the renewal of their vows and man it was tough to keep my emotions under wrap.  They raised me growing up to know God and live a life pleasing unto Him.  I'm so thankful for their leadership and teaching.   Their story is beautiful and inspiring but it doesn't come without sleepless nights and long years of serving others.  They have been pastoring churches for forty something of the fifty years they've been married.  That's a miracle in it's self, if you know what I mean.  Pastoring is not an easy job nor an easy calling.  I mean you live your life to serve people 24/7.  They did this all for the love of God in their heart for others while raising three children and one grand daughter (me). 

As we sat around a solid wood table aged with Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas pot lucks and Birthday party celebrations my husband and I had the pleasure of listening as my grandparents shared some amazing stories from their years of life together.  Their passion for people is felt in every story.   The times they sacrificed what they wanted for what others wanted.  The times they obeyed what God told them to do.  The times they shared with their kids as they learned new things.  The times they gave when they didn't really have it to give.  Just every layer of their years together has involved helping people in some shape or form.  It's so beautiful and inspiring...but ya know, at the end of all these 50 years the two people left from all these amazing stories is them.  All those years of surrounding themselves with people that they loved and poured into.  All those years of teaching, training and correcting those children.  The two lives that mattered the most in these 50 years is her and him.  Their relationship together is what remains.  Their love for one another is what remains.  Their friendship is what remains.  Their marriage is the common factor that has kept and has stayed consistent during all these 50 years.  As the people have come and gone.  As the kids have come and gone.  The two hearts that joined 50 years ago is what's still beating today.  

It's bad news when the hamster wheel of routine is gone.  It's bad news when the children are married and gone.  It's bad news when the crazy busy schedule is now vacant.  It's bad news when the people that were your friends have moved on and started a new life.  It's bad news when the two people left standing are you and your spouse and... you're not best friends.  That is bad news my friend.

The purpose of today's blog is to encourage you to make your spouse your best friend.  They should be the one you share things with.  They should be the one you laugh with.  They should be the one you crave time with.  They should be the one you have adventures with.   They should be the one you look to for comfort.   They are the one you should have constant companionship with. 

At the end of the day, when the kids are married and gone.  When your friends have moved on.  When your work agenda has changed.  When your circle of influence has changed.  They are the one standing right beside you.  Do what makes you two happy.  Do what keeps you going strong together.  Do what makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach get butterflies.  Keep up the flirting.  Keep the love life burning with desire.  Keep the sex life new and exciting. 

The only person hindering the passion in your marriage is you and your attitude about your spouse.  Keep your attitude in check.  No one person is perfect - ever!  Look past the flaws and into their heart for you.  As we sat with my grandparents talking that day my papa said, " I told your Nana it's just you and me so let's do what we want to do."   And ya know, it was so refreshing for me to hear him say that because after all the years they still have that friendship that my heart desires for ALL marriages to have. 

Now, friends this blog may seem extremely basic to you but unfortunately a lot of marriages are suffering because they've never truly established that best friend status with their spouse.  My heart is saddened to hear so many marriages unhappy and suffering daily just to see another day because they have children and don't want the kids to know they're unhappy. 

*Sigh* - another blog topic for another day.

I truly want to see your relationship thrive and live life to it's fullest.  Message, email or comment and let me know if I can pray for your marriage.  It will be kept confidential. 

Blessings,
Dr Britt

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Sometimes life screams, "You're not good enough!"  Whether it's your job, your talents, your dreams, your parenting role, your position at church or even your marriage.  The constant comparison as you click on your instagram or facebook to say the least are big reminders that you don't have what it takes to do what someone else is doing.  And that's exactly why I'm writing you today.

Recently I posted a video to my personal Facebook.  ( I uploaded it to youtube just in case you'd like to check it out. )  I felt the Holy Spirit urging me to post a video on "Lack"  and how it lies in our lives.  My topic that day was not referring to lack in a monetary sense but rather in our abilities.  The lies stem from our thoughts tailored with what our eyes see.    Tell those thoughts to shut up!  The lies are dead to you.  Let lack lie in your life.  The truth is you have everything you need to accomplish that dream, that call and that task.  You are qualified!  God has qualified you.

You are important to me but most importantly you are important to God.  He created you!  Let's talk real.  Out of the millions of sperm released during your conception, God saw it fit to fertilize only one and that was YOU!  You are so unique and precious.  No one will ever have your DNA makeup - ever!  There's only one and that's all this world needs.  You were created for purpose.  You were created to make an imprint on this Earth's soil.   Just like the story of Big Foot and his evidence that keeps people fascinated with, "What will happen next?  "Where will he go from here?"  I encourage you to have a fire on the inside of you to want to leave an imprint and keep people guessing.  Not for fame, fortune or man's approval but for the testimony of God's goodness and provision working in your life. 

I was reading in the book of Proverbs on Wednesday and the Dake's Bible ( which is my favorite study Bible) side notes explained that living for today will expose what you will accomplish tomorrow.  Another words Dake was reiterating that whatever your vision, call or talent is it's important to not announce what you plan on doing in the future.  God wants us to live for today.  We don't know what will hold for tomorrow although his promises are true.   Keep what you do between you and God giving way for others to expose the talent, dream and call later.   Reading this encouraged myself tremendously.  I am a peacemaker.  I have a tendency to feel like I have to explain to others why I am doing something or what moves my family makes and why .  God has encouraged me more and more through His word that I do not have to explain anything to anyone as long as I'm doing his will and neither do you.  Keep the details of your dream and talents close to your heart.  Only share it with a very small inner circle group of friends or family. 

Now, I know you're thinking, " Dr Britt what does this all have to do with my marriage and forever honeymooning?"  I'm glad you asked.  You're spouse deserves ALL the love from you they can get.  Not half, not a quarter but all the love you have to give.  When you don't feel like you are good enough you're spouse can sense that.  Whether it's your body image, parenting skills, cooking skills, financial responsibilities or sex life.  Loving yourself enables you to love your spouse.  Knowing who you are, who lives in you, and what you’re created for keeps you focused on how valuable it is to love and be loved.  You were created for greatness and greatness is inside of you.  The negative degrading thoughts do not have a hold on you.  You can overcome all those thoughts and soar like God has created you to soar.  Live for today and let tomorrow reveal itself at the right time.  Your spouse wants you to be successful, prosperous and fulfilled but you have to see yourself that way.

Take time for you.  Everyone of us have to have time where there's no distractions, no noise, no agenda and just relax.  You have to!  Now, I know you're saying but my kids...but my job...but my laundry, etc.  My friend it will be there when you get through relaxing, believe me.  You're family and spouse deserve the rested, rejuvenated, excited about life side of you.  Me time is  imperative.   Take time for you at least once during a hectic week.  If it means locking your bathroom door and soaking in a bubble bath with a great book, do it.  If it means driving to the book store for an hour or two grabbing you a coffee and looking at sports magazines, do it.  Whatever it is that makes you feel somewhat pampered but recharged, do it.  You deserve me time.  All of us look at me time differently.  Whatever yours is reveal it to your spouse, make time for it and enjoy.  When you take care of you, you have the energy to take care of those you love. 


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