The Bad News is...

Alarm clock screaming.  Dark yummy goodness brewing in the kitchen.  Jump in the shower.  Put on a confident outfit.  Wake up the kids.  Get them dressed, fed, teeth brushed, hair combed, deodorant on and breakfast as you all walk out the door.  The drive to school was as busy as every morning. Sun shining bright through the windshield.  Circle around and drop off the kids to enjoy a day of expanding their brain muscles.  Speed off to that job that is getting your daily bills paid and kid's extra curricular taken care of.  Then repeat.

Ever feel like you're on a hamster wheel of routine and there's no exit?  Like the days are EXTRA LONG and the years are short?  Do the attitudes of those precious blessings running around your house ever get too much?  Bad news - it won't last forever.  Yeah you read that correctly.  It's bad news.  The annoying rushed morning routine.  The hamster wheel with no exit.  The extra long days full of those little people running around with attitudes and opinions.  Yep, it won't last forever and that is bad news. 

Let me explain.

Recently my Papa and Nana celebrated 50 years of marriage.  Yes I said 50!!!  Wow!  Such an amazing accomplishment these days.  Ya know?   Extremely rare.  I had the beautiful honor of officiating the renewal of their vows and man it was tough to keep my emotions under wrap.  They raised me growing up to know God and live a life pleasing unto Him.  I'm so thankful for their leadership and teaching.   Their story is beautiful and inspiring but it doesn't come without sleepless nights and long years of serving others.  They have been pastoring churches for forty something of the fifty years they've been married.  That's a miracle in it's self, if you know what I mean.  Pastoring is not an easy job nor an easy calling.  I mean you live your life to serve people 24/7.  They did this all for the love of God in their heart for others while raising three children and one grand daughter (me). 

As we sat around a solid wood table aged with Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas pot lucks and Birthday party celebrations my husband and I had the pleasure of listening as my grandparents shared some amazing stories from their years of life together.  Their passion for people is felt in every story.   The times they sacrificed what they wanted for what others wanted.  The times they obeyed what God told them to do.  The times they shared with their kids as they learned new things.  The times they gave when they didn't really have it to give.  Just every layer of their years together has involved helping people in some shape or form.  It's so beautiful and inspiring...but ya know, at the end of all these 50 years the two people left from all these amazing stories is them.  All those years of surrounding themselves with people that they loved and poured into.  All those years of teaching, training and correcting those children.  The two lives that mattered the most in these 50 years is her and him.  Their relationship together is what remains.  Their love for one another is what remains.  Their friendship is what remains.  Their marriage is the common factor that has kept and has stayed consistent during all these 50 years.  As the people have come and gone.  As the kids have come and gone.  The two hearts that joined 50 years ago is what's still beating today.  

It's bad news when the hamster wheel of routine is gone.  It's bad news when the children are married and gone.  It's bad news when the crazy busy schedule is now vacant.  It's bad news when the people that were your friends have moved on and started a new life.  It's bad news when the two people left standing are you and your spouse and... you're not best friends.  That is bad news my friend.

The purpose of today's blog is to encourage you to make your spouse your best friend.  They should be the one you share things with.  They should be the one you laugh with.  They should be the one you crave time with.  They should be the one you have adventures with.   They should be the one you look to for comfort.   They are the one you should have constant companionship with. 

At the end of the day, when the kids are married and gone.  When your friends have moved on.  When your work agenda has changed.  When your circle of influence has changed.  They are the one standing right beside you.  Do what makes you two happy.  Do what keeps you going strong together.  Do what makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach get butterflies.  Keep up the flirting.  Keep the love life burning with desire.  Keep the sex life new and exciting. 

The only person hindering the passion in your marriage is you and your attitude about your spouse.  Keep your attitude in check.  No one person is perfect - ever!  Look past the flaws and into their heart for you.  As we sat with my grandparents talking that day my papa said, " I told your Nana it's just you and me so let's do what we want to do."   And ya know, it was so refreshing for me to hear him say that because after all the years they still have that friendship that my heart desires for ALL marriages to have. 

Now, friends this blog may seem extremely basic to you but unfortunately a lot of marriages are suffering because they've never truly established that best friend status with their spouse.  My heart is saddened to hear so many marriages unhappy and suffering daily just to see another day because they have children and don't want the kids to know they're unhappy. 

*Sigh* - another blog topic for another day.

I truly want to see your relationship thrive and live life to it's fullest.  Message, email or comment and let me know if I can pray for your marriage.  It will be kept confidential. 

Blessings,
Dr Britt

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