"Why can't I buy a new pair of shoes?"

We currently reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area.  This is a large populated area that is so diverse.  I've traveled to many states and the shopping is the best here in Texas.  The largest stores are so convenient.  Every 30 - 50 miles is an outlet shopping center full of the best stores.  A woman's dream for name brand shopping!  We have the Galleria which has high end up scale stores.  We have several Outlet malls which range in high end and average shopping stores.  Then there's the regular indoor and outdoor shopping malls.  So many choices which drives the stores to be so competitive in pricing. 

The problem with all this convenient shopping is when the husband is not aware of the shopping being done by the wife.  She may see a huge sale going on and feel like she just has to have that new pair of shoes.  Yes, most women like shoes.  Yes, most women think that you cannot ever have too many shoes.  However, keeping up with trends is exactly what the industries want you to do.  It keeps you ... what? .... buying!!!!  Their strategy is to keep producing so you can keep keeping up with the Kardashians. 

This past fall the new trend was "booties."  Did you happen to see that trend happening all around you?  Well, it was definitely a trend here in Dallas.  For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about I've added a few pics of this trend. These boots were literally without no exaggeration on ALMOST every woman's foot this past fall.  Now, for most families these boots were NOT a necessity and I'm sure there were some women that bought these without talking to their husband about the purchase before hand.  By no means is this to pin point a woman for purchasing this trend.  I honestly liked the booties trend but did not buy a pair.  (and I am a boot girl...just ask my husband)  I have several pairs of boots that are still in great condition.  I was not in NEED of a new pair of boots for the fall even though I really wanted a pair. LOL.  

Before the wife gives in and proceeds with purchasing, just so she can show it off the next day, there are four things she should stop and ask herself honestly.

1. "Do I really need them?" 
2. "Can I live without them?" 
3. "Can I afford them?" 
4. "Is this purchase in agreement with my husband?" 

You might think this seems a little extreme over a pair of shoes but one pair of shoes could lead to a purse which could lead to a dress and so forth.  This purchase could in some cases put a whole family in a financial bind.  If the wife is not in tune with what her and her husband have agreed upon for their debits and deposits, she could easily cause a major stress in their house.  Instant gratification is the motive for most purchases which in return will KILL your finances.  I could easily go on to another example using the husband but I'm going to stop it right here. 

Another avenue, especially as parents, is the need to "keep up with the Jones'."  I want to encourage you to not fall into this trap of keeping up with what your child's friend's family are doing.  You never know how much debt they are really in to have what they have.  It's too much pressure that is not necessary.  Every household, every marriage and every family have different finances and ways of living.  Start teaching your kids how to save and invest for their future while getting rewarded currently for their work.  Developing a dedicated, steady work ethic now, will prepare them for whatever business they go into in the future.  Whether they are an employee, CEO, entrepreneur, business owner or stay at home parent, they will be prepared.  

Most divorces are due to financial stress and disagreements.  It's very important to marry someone you can do business with.  Marriage is like a small business.  Like I mentioned in last month's blog, you have to make your spouse your business partner.  Your household is your small business and your finances are what make the "business" work smoothly.  For a business to work successfully the purchases cannot out way the income.  In a marriage your debt or purchases would be considered your "overhead" so to speak in business terms.  Make sure your purchases do not exceed what is being brought into the house.  For those of you that have a business know exactly what I'm talking about.  For those of you that have not had a business, it's important to right down all that you HAVE to have as far as monthly purchases or expenses.  Key word is HAVE to have.  Not a need but a necessity.  Then add up all of those.  Right down your monthly income and subtract the necessities from the income.  If you're number is in the negative then you are out of business!  You need a profit each month.  If you're not having any money left over at the end of the month then you have to sit down with your spouse and reevaluate where you are spending your money and make the necessary adjustments.   

A lot of times we blame the other person and never look at what we are doing to contribute to or hinder the situation.  There's a way to live a comfortable life, save money and stay happily married.  What tends to hinder all of these from residing together in one scenario is a selfish mentality.  When you stop thinking of the other and always thinking of yourself is when you get the wrong results fast.  Saving money is not hard it just takes discipline.  The mentality has to change from spending everything you make to saving a little from all you make.  Every time there is a deposit in your account there has to be a transfer into your savings right after paying the tithes. 

Key things to take away from today's blog:

1. Don't purchase before you think about it.
2. If you can't afford it don't purchase it.
3. Stay in agreement with your spouse on debits and deposits.
4. Save something from everything you bring in to your house.

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